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 Deborah Ballard aka Debbie Lawrence is a transgender woman with nearly 40 years of IT experience, nearly 40 years of transformational programs including 12 step programs, leadership training programs, open source support groups, transgender support groups and websites.  Debbie has written 6 books on transgender issues, so far.

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Posted originally on Facebook on Friday Jan 19, 2018

In response to Frank Wuco’s claim that Transgender women lead horrible lives, 

From an article in Metro Weeklyy

A senior adviser to the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) apparently made numerous anti-LGBTQ statements on a right-wing radio show during the 2016 election, including saying transgender people lead “a horrible existence.”

Frank Wuco, senior White House adviser to the DHS, made the comments on The Reality CheckMedia Matters reports.

Speaking to host Charles Butler, who used “faggots” twice during Wuco’s appearances and called President Barack Obama an “immoral bastard,” Wuco said that societies with “no moral center” have “suffered greatly.”

After Butler slammed transgender people, saying “these people are sick…. transgenders are sick people,” Wuco responded by calling it a “malady,” adding, “I wouldn’t want to spend five minutes inside their heads,” and calling it a “horrible existence.”

 

 

Wuso has no clue what it is to be transgender. Transgender women, and men are born that way. A transgender girl looks mostly like a boy between the legs, but CT scans of transgender girls' brains look more like female brains. The behave more like girls too. As babies, they are quieter, as toddlers they don't push each other and fight over toys as much. Before elementary school, they will often prefer to play with girls than boys when given the choice. Even if they don't have dolls, they are more likely to treat stuffed animals like babies, holding then, cuddling them, and even singing to them and telling stories. They don't like to roughhouse, preferring to color, to play games of cooperation.

 

In elementary school, they don't fit in with the other boys. They are regularly bullied, and often very violently, and often by large groups of boys, because they don't have the instincts to fight back. Imagine going to school every day, KNOWING that you'll be punched, kicked, and beaten for an hour a day

 

! Transgender girls often struggle with symptoms similar to PTSD, nightmares, inability to sleep, fear, anxiety, and depression. For many, the stress and internal injuries can result in severe medical problems including asthma attacks more frequently, diabetes, kidney and liver problems, spinal injuries, hospitalizations, and more time missed due to infections and viruses due to a weakened immune system.

 

By the time they are 6 or 7 years old, transgender girls know that they are "a girl inside". Unfortunately, too often, when they try to tell parents, they are ignored, dismissed, or shamed. They are forced into gender conformity. They are forced to try to be something that they are not. They are FORCED TO BE DISHONEST, because when they tell the truth, they get punished for it.

 

Many transgender girls living as boys will isolate, reading lots of books, trying to make sense of the world that seems hostile. They see pattern, recognize things others ignore. In many civilisations, transgender girls were revered for their wisdom and knowledge, as Shamen, Oracles, Seers, prophets, and healers.

 

Puberty is a hard time for transgender girls. They learn about the male puberty changes with loathing and dread. Many will even try to castrate themselves. Boiling water, tied with string, even crushing, or spreading legs to be kicked down there. Some have even tried cutting themselves. They may even ask to be castrated. The standard practice today is chemical castration with T-blockers such as Spirinolactone. This is easily reversed if the child chooses to be a boy, which rarely happens.

 

Unfortunately, most of those forced to go through male puberty experience it as horrible, like being forced to turn into an angry hairy beast, permanently trapped in a body they hate, for the rest of their lives. For many, the only permanent solution to this permanent problem seems to be suicide. Often they will attempt suicide discretely, accidental drug overdose, traffic accident, getting beat up and not curling up to protect internal organs, poison, or combinations of booze, street drugs, prescription drugs, and over the counter drugs. Other times, they just step in front of a truck. Nearly half of all transgender people have ATTEMPTED SUICIDE at least once. Even more have ideated and planned, but not implemented. Nearly all attempts are BEFORE TRANSITIONING. About a third of those who implement, will eventually succeed.

 

Transgender transition is a long and often scary process. Cross-dressing in private, carefully planned outings, such a drive around the block, walking around a block in a different neighborhood, going to an event, tiny milestones to most, but huge to someone trying to overcome years of trauma, repression, and fear. For several months, outings are carefully planned to avoid multiple stall bathrooms. WPATH, standards of care, recommends 6 months to a year before starting hormones, starting with chemical castration, then adding estrogen. By the time a transgender woman is living full time as female, she has visible breasts, can't have erections, and can't ejaculate.

Most transgender women avoid locker rooms and showers until they are full time for a while, an even then are most likely to seek privacy. The last thing a transsexual woman wants is for someone to see what's between her legs in a shower, locker room, or bathroom.

Wuco has no clue what it is to be transgender. Transgender women, and men are born that way. A transgender girl looks mostly like a boy between the legs, but CT scans of transgender girls' brains look more like female brains. The behave more like girls too. As babies, they are quieter, as toddlers they don't push each other and fight over toys as much. Before elementary school, they will often prefer to play with girls than boys when given the choice. Even if they don't have dolls, they are more likely to treat stuffed animals like babies, holding then, cuddling them, and even singing to them and telling stories. They don't like to roughhouse, preferring to color, to play games of cooperation.

In elementary school, they don't fit in with the other boys. They are regularly bullied, and often very violently, and often by large groups of boys, because they don't have the instincts to fight back. Imagine going to school every day, KNOWING that you'll be punched, kicked, and beaten for an hour a day

! Transgender girls often struggle with symptoms similar to PTSD, nightmares, inability to sleep, fear, anxiety, and depression. For many, the stress and internal injuries can result in severe medical problems including asthma attacks more frequently, diabetes, kidney and liver problems, spinal injuries, hospitalizations, and more time missed due to infections and viruses due to a weakened immune system.

By the time they are 6 or 7 years old, transgender girls know that they are "a girl inside". Unfortunately, too often, when they try to tell parents, they are ignored, dismissed, or shamed. They are forced into gender conformity. They are forced to try to be something that they are not. They are FORCED TO BE DISHONEST, because when they tell the truth, they get punished for it.

Many transgender girls living as boys will isolate, reading lots of books, trying to make sense of the world that seems hostile. They see pattern, recognize things others ignore. In many civilisations, transgender girls were revered for their wisdom and knowledge, as Shamen, Oracles, Seers, prophets, and healers.

Puberty is a hard time for transgender girls. They learn about the male puberty changes with loathing and dread. Many will even try to castrate themselves. Boiling water, tied with string, even crushing, or spreading legs to be kicked down there. Some have even tried cutting themselves. They may even ask to be castrated. The standard practice today is chemical castration with T-blockers such as Spirinolactone. This is easily reversed if the child chooses to be a boy, which rarely happens.

Unfortunately, most of those forced to go through male puberty experience it as horrible, like being forced to turn into an angry hairy beast, permanently trapped in a body they hate, for the rest of their lives. For many, the only permanent solution to this permanent problem seems to be suicide. Often they will attempt suicide discretely, accidental drug overdose, traffic accident, getting beat up and not curling up to protect internal organs, poison, or combinations of booze, street drugs, prescription drugs, and over the counter drugs. Other times, they just step in front of a truck. Nearly half of all transgender people have ATTEMPTED SUICIDE at least once. Even more have ideated and planned, but not implemented. Nearly all attempts are BEFORE TRANSITIONING. About a third of those who implement, will eventually succeed.

Transgender transition is a long and often scary process. Cross-dressing in private, carefully planned outings, such a drive around the block, walking around a block in a different neighborhood, going to an event, tiny milestones to most, but huge to someone trying to overcome years of trauma, repression, and fear. For several months, outings are carefully planned to avoid multiple stall bathrooms. WPATH, standards of care, recommends 6 months to a year before starting hormones, starting with chemical castration, then adding estrogen. By the time a transgender woman is living full time as female, she has visible breasts, can't have erections, and can't ejaculate.

Most transgender women avoid locker rooms and showers until they are full time for a while, an even then are most likely to seek privacy. The last thing a transsexual woman wants is for someone to see what's between her legs in a shower, locker room, or bathroom.